Noms at Home | Wingstreet
- Nom
- Dec 11, 2016
- 3 min read
If for some reason you think that it could be a good idea to order buffalo wings from Pizza Hut’s Wingstreet...well...just don’t do it. This isn’t a Nike moment. I’m here, writing this for you, because I did it and it wasn't worth it. If this thought would never cross your mind, you can stop reading now.
I live right in the middle of Southend. I am close enough to order from pretty much anywhere in uptown Charlotte along with the hundreds of places in this area, but it’s pretty amazing, confounding even, that nobody delivers by default as a service. It’s like they want you to come into their restaurant or something. Nobody wants to come in and eat at small booths with ripped fabric and dim lights. I’m talking to you Beijing Restaurant. I love your food, but I just want to eat it from my couch. Two blocks is too far when I’m already walking around in my underwear.
Now I know what most of you are thinking. You are visualizing me in my underwear. That’s a mistake. Whatever, it's probably better for you than Wingstreet just was for me.
But honestly, there is just SO much great food around me and yet the only places that deliver are Papa John’s and Pizza Hut. Oh boy. How is this even possible? How do people survive? Yeah yeah, I know that Postmates and Foodie Call are things that deliver “anything”, but I refuse to use a service called “Foodie Call” on the same principle that I refuse to order “Moons over My Hammy” when I visit Denny’s. It took me awhile but now I understand that it is a parody of the phrase “booty call”. No thank you. It is embarrassing. And Postmates? Do I look like I am made of money? Who can afford this service?
...Now you can see how I ended up ordering from Wingstreet. It was a panic moment and I regret it.
The only nice thing I have to say about the entire experience was that the food was so bad, I ended up not binge eating it like I had set out to do when I placed the order. Diet through disgust is an effective method for me apparently.
Everything tasted like cardboard. When I say it tasted like cardboard, I mean it had the consistency of cardboard as well. The fries (yes I ordered fries too, stop judging me) were like leftover fries that you brought home from a fancy restaurant and left in the refrigerator for a week and then tried to resuscitate with some Dr. Frankenstein magic. I really think they must have run out of fries or they simply could not find enough behind the oven to sweep off the floor, because there were only about seven total in the box. The wings weren’t any better. The lemon pepper seasoning was OK I guess, but once you put that on top of paper mache in the shape of a chicken wing, it's still going to taste like paper mache and cardboard. The Medium Buffalo tasted like barbecue and the Hot Buffalo tasted like Satan's diarrhea.
After all of this, I managed to swallow six total, with two of those six still stuck in my teeth, before I put the rest in the refrigerator with hopes that they will get better with age.
Common sense would say to just throw them away. But this is now an experiment. In the interim...
NEVER order wings from Wing Street.
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